Okay, I very rarely get to the point of where I feel a rant coming on but just prepare yourself...this is a rant. I don't intend to be mean...it just gets so old.
I go to an incredible church. A church where peoples' lives are changed DAILY! I am passionate about this because I was and am one of those lives that has been reached, touched, and loved. We have close to a thousand people in attendance each week...why? Well, because people matter. Each of our leaders does an outstanding job of loving the community. By community I mean those that attend our church and even those who do not. Crazy concept, huh? Right now, we are trying to get into a building, and we've had a lot of big changes. Well, big changes make people talk.
I am sick of hearing negative things about our church. The following things are just a few:
Why move into a building when where we are is just fine? This building is just a building let us remember that. With this building more can be reached and I truly believe more will be reached. Sure there are issues and concerns right now but if you have them...instead of talking or gossiping about it how about you meet with a leader or someone who is involved within PCC. Let me remind you this should not be a conversation that you have when you're heated. I personally have only received grace and love when dealing with our leadership. Approach them the same way, please. They are human. Love them the way Jesus loves you...even if you're mad.
PCC is a church that 'steals' members from other area churches. Humans can't steal people's hearts...God does. If someone finds something that suits them within PCC they stay. That's not stealing...that's serving...that's loving. Get over it. Why does it matter where one attends church? Why can't we just be happy that someone has found their "place." Who cares where. A church is just a building...when are we going to stop living as if and only if four walls constitute a church. Why can't we all be THE church.
When did PCC become so money hungry? How can you become money hungry when you don't have it? I've heard people say that they won't tithe because they feel that the money isn't being used appropriatly. What I say to that is...I don't give my money to PCC...I give it to God. Be honest with yourself. Sure times are hard and money is short but remember also that it's His money...not ours, not PCCs, but God's.
Are leaders at PCC capable of being flawed and making mistakes? Absolutely...they are human. However, before you cast the first stone please remember that we all come from a past with mistakes. What if each of our mistakes were presented each time we fail or others think that we've failed. I am not saying that PCC is perfect or that leadership is perfect but I don't believe that anyone has claimed that.
I will no longer concern myself with these little issues. Do they upset me? Sure. However, I believe in a church that 1. believes in Jesus and 2. believes in me. I will speak about these things if asked and I'll answer as best I can but I will not listen to gossip, or lies. This is NOT what church is about. I came from a church full of church politics...I do not want any part of that now. That junk just builds and builds and it becomes about the people and less about Jesus.
We can complain all day long: fuss, whine, grumble, be angry, etc but where is Jesus in all of that? That's a struggle for me at times too but God gives me a reality check real quick. Before you are quick to speak really sit and think about what you are saying. Consider having a constructive conversation instead of a destructive one.
Find someone to talk to...not to gossip to. If PCC is not a church that you feel led to then that is fine. However, do not bash a church solely because it makes you leaving easier.
Most importantly, pray for our leadership. Do you know the amount of stress that comes along with leading? The people you worry over, the things you know a county is saying, the constant choice that you have to make to offer grace, love, and compassion. This is not an easy "business" to be involved with. Instead of tearing down...help to build up. There are too many things in this world that would love to tear us all down. Don't be apart of that. Don't choose that way of life. Be a solution...not a problem.
I also want to clarify that communication is a two way street. If you feel like you are not being heard (now, you actually have to make a step towards communication...leadership can't read minds) then TELL someone. Tell them in an honest way. Say, "I don't think that you are listening to me..." Be honest. Be real. Be open. Those are the conversations that change everything: mindsets, opinions, issues, concerns, etc. Those conversations open doors to authentic understanding and love in its purest form.
I believe.
Whoa.
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those leaders you're talking about.
You have no idea how much this means to me.
I feel supported and heard and encouraged and like I'm not alone.
I was going to say that you have no idea how hard it is sometimes...but it occurs to me that maybe you do. Because you're leading, too.
Thank you, so much.
Comment #1:
ReplyDeleteMary Elizabeth,
This will come in 2 comments as it's too long for just one...
I can't tell you what your post means to me. It's sad that a few people run around spewing hurtful things...with incomplete information and partial truths. It hurts every time I hear about these things, but then I hear from folks like you and I know that God still has great things in store for us. Let me specifically address a few things in your post.
1. I can't ever remember someone coming to me who was upset about something in the church who was not received with love, grace, and respect. I always try to 'seek first to understand, then to be understood'. If I felt I was wrong, I admitted it. I almost always talk about the things I wish I had done differently, not just things I thought we got right. Specifically about the building, THE CHURCH voted on the master plan, THE CHURCH voted to build. All members of PCC are able to vote - and we always vote when we build a building - and the vote to build was unanimous. Finally, the decision to build was carefully and prayerfully considered. In short, in Powhatan, there is no other building for us to move into. While we have a great relationship with the school system, relying entirely on that relationship puts all of our eggs in one basket. If we were to be 'evicted', our church would be in great peril (we have nowhere else to go). Building was a matter of security for us.
2. I loved your comments about the church not being a building. I would only add the important statistic that fully 1/2 of our attenders were NOT going to church anywhere when they came to PCC. Half. Name me another church anywhere in our community that does that. We aren't stealing from other churches, we're growing the Kingdom. And you are right, if someone finds their place - the place where God has called them - the place where they 'belong' among us, why is that bad? People leave PCC and find their place at other churches, and that's fine, too.
to be continued...
Comment #1
ReplyDelete...continued from comment #1
3. We ask today the same thing we've always asked: that every Christ follower be completely obedient to God. Our money is not ours. God entrusts it to us (see Matt 25, among other scriptures). And God tells us to test him with the tithe. I feel sorry for those who don't give, because of the blessing they are missing. Our position has never changed about giving and tithing, and those who suggest that we are somehow different or money hungry are just plain wrong. Jesus talked more about money than he did about heaven and hell combined because he knew the power that money had to get in between us and God. The truth is that those who are highly sensitive about this conversation are usually the ones who have a spiritual problem. They refuse to let go of the stronghold that money has on their lives. If you feel like you have to withhold your giving because you don't believe in the work your church is doing, than you are going to the wrong church. We need to pray for them. God doesn't need their money. But they do need to fully commit their lives - every part of their lives - to God.
4. Good grief...I don't even know where to begin. I've talked more about my mistakes than I do about my successes. Way more. Most of our staff is extremely open and forthcoming about their struggles, sin, past, and mistakes. This is true for personal issues and for church leadership issues. I often say that our church is a success in spite of us. If I know anything about God, it's that He is a God of second chances. Being public about our struggles and sin and mistakes helps others with secret sin to let go, get it out, and live a life of truth. I am reading a book called, "No Perfect People Allowed". Those who complain about the flaws of our staff and leadership need to read it, because it would appear that they have a pride and an ego problem. (See Romans 3:23)
5. I completely agree with you about the politics. We must be vigilant about rooting out divisiveness. this doesn't mean that folks cannot disagree or that we can't have constructive conflict. Those things are good. But it sounds like you've heard from some folks intent on tearing us down from the inside. With all due respect, those people need to go. They will hurt us. Why would you want to be at a church you complain about all the time, anyway? Of that you have a major beef with? We don't have a cemetery. Nobody's family is buried in our back yard. Go somewhere else, where you can feel good about where you worship and serve and give. I love what you said - it's a great statement: I want to go to a church that believes in Jesus and believes in me. As they say in my line of work, That'll preach.
Mary Elizabeth, there have been many difficult days for me on this 7 year journey. Those who have wanted to tear us down, told lies about us, played politics, worked to be divisive - well, they are too many to count. I've often prayed that God would encourage me, strengthen me, help me lead above the fray and in spite of the critics. You know how God answers that prayer? With people like you.
You have been a great source of strength for me and others on our staff and others in our leadership...not just today, but at other times, too. You will never know what your post meant to me this morning. Thank you for standing by us even in difficult seasons. That's what families do. That's what the people of God do. I'm grateful to serve here with you.
Brian
Mary Elizabeth dang girl. I don't normally hear your rants but if you do them often I want to read them. that was some good stuff. I can't believe how much I have seen you grow in Christ in just the what two years maybe that I have known you! I agree whole heartedly with what you have said. I know I am guilty of saying stuff about churches in my past, until I became a leader in the church I am at now. It is unbelievable stress and I know the church I am at now, we care about peoples hearts and we could care less about where they come from or what their past is. THEY ARE IN CHURCH!!! They are becoming the church! thats all that matters. We have partnered with PCC and are mentored by PCC often and I can tell you that I love PCC. You will always have the people who say whatever, but its just cause they honestly don't get it yet. I am learning this just as much as you are. Thanks for your post! I miss ya
ReplyDeleteI am moved both by Mary Elizabeth's comments and Brian's response.
ReplyDeletePCC has been my saving grace more times than I can count. My heart is filled with joy when I think about how many people's lives are touched and blessed on a daily basis by the leaders of this church. I am so disappointed to learn there are some who won't to tear us down from within. I wonder if those that complain are doing anything to serve??? If so, they would know the hard work and dedication it must take and not be so quick to judge.
I, for one, am less than perfect, and am so blessed to have found such a welcoming place to learn about God and feel loved. Thank you Brian and to each and every leader for your determination to make our community a better place.
Mary Elizabeth - you are an incredibly ranter!
ReplyDeleteCan I just say that I am far from perfect, in case anyone thinks that I have ever presented myself to be so.
I came to PCC broken, screwed up, struggling with guilt and shame and very, very confused. I sat in the seats and cried for six months. Because PCC and its leaders were patient and kind and generous with grace, I learned more about Jesus and His love than I had ever understood in my life. I attended PCC and watched the incredible impact it had on my life and my kids. I experienced grace. It changed my life.
And then I was invited to serve.
I can't think of any higher honor, to give back to others as I was given. I think that's the key at the heart of most of the leadership at PCC.
It hurts when people criticize with malice - it hurts personally and it hurts because I think God is worthy of so much more. I hope that anyone with a disagreement would do exactly as you have said and come express themselves. I'm okay with that. But it's heartbreaking to know that you're hearing such things.
God is working in Powhatan - not just at PCC, but in other churches - and even outside of churches, in people's homes and workplaces. God will do as He pleases. I just want to please Him, to the best of my ability, and I long for the local church that I love - PCC - to be seen as worthy of our calling.
I am SO glad that God has placed you here. Thanks for having the courage to say these things out loud.
OH... misssbeth.
ReplyDeletewhat wayyy da tell em girl. i know what's its like to be on both ends of the spectrum. when you're the one complaining and then when you hear the complaining.
all i can say- is this. i had to get over myself. it's not about me- it's about God and his plan. I was struggling a lot with selfish desires- concerning what i wanted out of pcc. " and i know i caused some our amazing leaders some grief....
last year.. i was like ojdlkjglkg skjd upset about our church services/small groups and not being spiritually fed- and then just getting burned out on what felt like the same ol.. my head was soo in the wrong spot. but God spoke to me- along with some other mentors and was like you need to serve... and i was like ehhh at first.
totally in this wrong mindset- like ummm no- i dont want to do anything- i just want to be "fed"
it was then at world changers last year- that God really placed this burden on my heart. God was like Sarah stop complaining about worship and the fact you dont have a youth band- and get up their with you guitar and lead everyone in worship. so that's what i did i listened. and you don't know how blessed i was from that. getting up their and singing and creating a place where i'd see my friends and peers draw closer to God each week and truly encounter him. Especially when i sang songs that came from my heart and truly "wrecked me."- brian quote.
thanks for laying it out for everyone to see- that complaints and comments like that- are just so selfish. i'm so stubborn- and i had to have people tell me that's how i was being.
so many people just want to be blessed. and when the church starts moving to further the kingdom- some people get scared cause they feel like they're losing their blessing. when really Jesus is just saying now it's your turn- you need to be a blessing.
one of my fave quotes is this
"And this wise man asked me to stop. He said, Stop asking God to bless what you're doing. Get involved in what God is doing -- because it's already blessed."
Bono
this is still a struggle- i was always demanding God to bless my music- my talents- when really i just needed to get involved with what he's already doing. so i ventured out- and started up a worship team for focus and later that year created Rise Above The Reflection. A small group for young girls- that underlines the lies about self image- self worth that media throws at us and the truth about our beauty. That no matter what we belong to God- and he is forever will be captivated by us.
and i can't even begin to tell you the blessings i have received because of getting involved with those things.
i love you so much murrrylisssbefff
and you are such an inspiration to me. as a leader and a woman of God. keep ranting girl I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT :DDD
Mary... Seriously... You spit gems on the blog. No lie.
ReplyDelete