Sense.Of.Humor.

As promised...here is the revelation, the calling, and the (my) God who is all wrapped up in it! ((YEAH!))

For the last 4 months there has just been an overwhelming burden laid upon my heart. A burden for lost children, a burden for justice, a burden of change, a burden of hope (yup, even hope.) It became so much that at times I either shut down or even cried. I read a lot. Talking to God a lot. But...still there was nothing. I kept thinking, "Alright, God what do you want me to do with ALL of this?" I sat out on my front porch one night at 2am and just kept saying out loud, "Alright...I'm all in. You tell me what to do & I'll do it. No matter what it cost me."

Enter The Leadership Summit.

My church attends an annual Leadership Summit and this year was my FIRST year. I had no expectations. I try to do that with just about anything big..especially God related. I do that when it comes to worship experiences, church functions, and even with this Leadership Summit.

Well, this year (I'm not sure if it was like this in the past) but it was VERY missions heavy. My heart felt wrecked through most of it. My skin tingled. My heart raced. My mind kept pouring out ideas/thoughts/ways that I could make a difference. And then...I kept seeing pictures of our Youth in Macedonia. It was just a flood of things. I heard Jessica Jackley speak on just "starting small." I heard Wess Stafford speaking about 100,000+ children falling to their pastors' knees and declaring Jesus their Lord & Savior. I heard Bono say that the church proved him wrong. Images flooded. Emotions flooded. Images from Hillsong United's dvd Iheartrevolution (If you haven't seen it..I HIGHLY recommend it) just kept flooding in. I was beyond happy. THIS WAS FOR ME! Now, I realize that God spoke to most, if not all, that were in attendance that day but it was if He shined down on me and said, "Here you go, M.E. I'm speaking...you listening?"

The Calling:

Before I even knew what I was doing...I was walking over to Angie Frame, our youth pastor. I could hear myself saying, "I want to work with our youth. Not middle school...but high school. You tell me what to do. I'll do it. Take me under your wing and I'll do the best that I can." I had to stop myself afterwards..."what did I just do? I don't do teenagers. I do first graders..little ones...ones that have less attitude. NOT teenagers."

God has the greatest sense of humor. Joel Houston spoke recently and said, "There are things in my life that for whatever reason I wasn't willing to do. I told God...I can't go there. I can't do that. That's not my plan. That's not my desire." He then said, "It's like God went down a checklist and marked off all the things I said I can't do...and put me in the middle of it. It changed my life." In that moment of talking to Angie...the burden became lighter. I listened. Do I have a clue as to what I'll be doing? Nope. Do I know if I'll be any good at it? Nope. But for once I feel like I'm answering the call. For once...it's my voice saying, "Here I am. Send me." (Isaiah 6:8) My voice. No one else's.

Excuse me while I geek out!!!!!! EEEeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEeEEEEEEeeEEEEEEeeeee Okay. Back. I meet with Angie on the 25th to talk about this & I can't wait. I can't wait to work with a generation that actually puts their faith to their feet (quite naturally I might add.) I cannot even fathom all that they will teach me. These kids are going to break my heart. I can feel it and I'm pumped.

The Revelation:

Well, as if the above was not enough...here God goes again. I am a practical person. My house isn't cluttered with junk. I'm pretty simple. I don't buy it unless I need it. However, I like to socialize. I like hanging out with friends or doing dinner. I like it so much in fact that my credit card bills show it...*gulp* like, a lot. I haven't necessarily felt convicted by this because I'm single. I can in some aspects afford to be social, however, it's wasteful to an extent. For months now I've been saying that I need to get a handle on it. Well, God spoke loud & clear at the Leadership Summit. Here's how:

A lot of the speakers spoke about stepping outside of yourself. Being a giver. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to give (no, I don't just say that because it sounds nice.) But I've been complaining that I want to give more but I just don't have the funds (reason above.) Well, this weekend I will sit down & make a budget (I've NEVER done a budge before). It'll handle EVERYTHING. This budge is effective immediately. My goal is to cut my credit card bills in HALF. This will require a HUGE amount of discipline. My motivator? Ready? The extra money that I would've spent on going out will be divided in half. Half of it will go into my own personal account as a cushion (incase something happens with my house/car) and the other half will go into a new savings account. Also, I'll say 'bye, bye" to cable this month. That extra money will enter into the new savings account. New savings account? That new savings account will be my giving fund. It'll take a lil while to build up, but once it does it will serve as a way for me to give back to my community (ALL in Jesus name.) I'll listen out for needs around my work, my church, my community, etc. This money will be used anonymously and any credit given will be in God's name. It's His money anyway...I've been wasting it...until now! Once again, Joel Houston once said, "For us to give it's actually going to cost something." This will cost me very little in comparison to what God's going to do with His money. I can't wait.

I finally feel uncomfortable in a good way. I am not one to give up social outings (I'm not giving up completely...I'm modifying. :) I am not one to just give up cable tv, however, I'll be the first to say it robs your life. I am not one to work with (teenaged) youth. I am not one to be disciplined in financial areas. I am not a lot of things. God is much stronger than the pieces of me that are 'not' filled. ALL of the above makes me uncomfortable because it is ALL out of my comfort zone. But it ain't about me. He is the I am. And....."I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me...."

This path makes no sense but at the same time makes perfect sense. Lets rock this calling/revelation out. :D



Here I go. I'm so excited. :)